How do you feel about giving and receiving feedback? Is your heart already beating a little faster at the mention of the "F" word?
It may well be! Research shows that asking people to give and receive feedback can be anxiety inducing. However, feedback is a cornerstone of effective leadership and team dynamics. It shapes how individuals grow, enhances performance, and fosters a culture of continuous improvement.
But, despite its importance, around 87% of employees actively want more feedback, yet only a third actually receive it.
This gap highlights a need for leaders to master the art of giving and receiving feedback effectively.
In this guide, we’ll explore the purpose of feedback, common challenges faced by leaders and team members, different types of feedback, the impact of bias in feedback processes, and practical strategies for delivering and receiving feedback.
Contents
What is Feedback?
Feedback isn't some mystical management buzzword - it's the raw, honest conversation that helps people grow. It's a communication process that involves sharing constructive information, observations, and suggestions about an individual or organisation’s performance, work or behaviour. And it has a purpose - helping people improve and become more effective.
Feedback that is effective isn't about criticism; it's about creating a supportive dialogue that empowers individuals to understand their strengths, recognise improvement areas, and take meaningful steps forward. When done well, feedback transforms potential into performance.
Is your heart beating any slower yet?
Why Does Feedback Matter?
Feedback seems to exist within the lifeblood of organisations, often with an unspoken expectation that it is both given and received. But why? Why does it matter?
The stats give us a clue.
According to Gallup, feedback...
...is a big driver of engagement.
80% of employees who say they received meaningful feedback in the past week are fully engaged.
...lowers turnover rates.
Employees who receive strengths feedback had 14.9% lower turnover rates compared to those who received no feedback.
...and improves performance.
Employees receiving daily, compared to annual, feedback are 3.6 times more likely to strongly agree that they are motivated to do outstanding work.
And quality matters...
Research conducted by software company, Textio, found that:
Individuals receiving low quality performance feedback are more likely to quit their jobs compared to those who receive high quality feedback.
Feedback in a Leadership Context
In a leadership context, feedback serves multiple purposes and is a powerful tool for guiding, motivating, and developing team members. It's like a compass that helps navigate team dynamics and individual growth.
When done well, feedback can:
Clarify expectations
Reinforce positive behaviours
Boost employee engagement
Improve performance
Foster a culture of continuous improvement
Drive personal and organisational growth
Common Challenges of Giving and Receiving Feedback
Challenges of Giving Feedback
Giving feedback is a critical leadership skill, but many leaders can find it difficult and sometimes a bit awkward. This is a skill that needs to be learnt, and leadership development is a great way to help leaders evolve their approach. There can often be a struggle with balancing honesty and empathy for fear of demotivating or damaging team relationships. Common challenges can include:
Being too vague or general: Often, leaders may provide feedback that lacks specificity. General comments like "You need to do better" do little to guide improvement.
Focusing solely on negative aspects: Many leaders fall into the trap of only pointing out what’s wrong instead of recognising what’s going well. This can demoralise team members.
Giving feedback when emotionally charged: Providing feedback in the heat of the moment can lead to miscommunication or hurt feelings. We've all been there, and it rarely ends well. It’s crucial to approach these conversations with a clear mind.
Fear of conflict: Some leaders avoid giving feedback altogether due to fear of confrontation or rocking the boat.
Lack of time: In fast-paced environments, leaders may feel they don’t have time for meaningful feedback discussions. This can also sometimes lead to waiting too long or giving feedback at inappropriate moments. Don't wait for an annual performance review to give feedback...
Challenges of Receiving Feedback
Receiving feedback as a leader can be emotionally challenging and professionally complex. Many leaders struggle with the inherent vulnerability of hearing critical perspectives about their performance, leadership style, or decision-making. Common challenges of receiving feedback can include:
Emotional reactions: Receiving feedback can trigger defensiveness or anxiety as we protect our egos. This can lead to responding from a position of defence, denial or trying to rationalise what's being shared. Inadvertently, these responses shut down honest communication and can make it difficult for leaders to process the information constructively.
Misinterpretation: Without clarity in communication, recipients may misunderstand the intent or content of the feedback. Checking the giver meant how it is being received can help here.
Overemphasis on negative feedback: Just as givers may focus too much on negatives, receivers may fixate on critical comments rather than recognising positive input.
Inability seeing feedback as an opportunity for growth: It's not a punishment, it's a gift.
Lack of follow-up: A significant challenge is failing to act on feedback received or not following up with the person who provided it. This can lead to stagnation in growth and development.
Difficulty separating the message from the messenger: Focusing on the person delivering the feedback rather than the content of the feedback itself can be problematic. It can lead to decision-making based on feelings about the person rather than the merits of the feedback.
Effective leaders cultivate emotional intelligence, humility, and a growth mindset to transform feedback from a potential threat into a valuable opportunity for development.
Early in my career, I had a manager who was pivotal in my relationship with feedback - he was my game changer. In our first 1-to-1 meeting, he simply asked the question,
"Do you have any feedback for me? Is there anything you'd like me to stop, start or continue doing?".
I'd never been asked that by any of my previous managers and I remember feeling so shocked! It completely changed the dynamics of our relationship - it became open, honest, transparent and full of trust and respect.
Feedback Approaches
There are several different feedback approaches used in professional settings to improve performance and communication.
These include:
Specific Feedback: Providing precise and detailed comments about a particular task or behaviour.
Positive Feedback: Recognising and appreciating someone's achievements or contributions.
Negative Feedback: Pointing out issues or areas that need improvement, ideally framed with solutions or suggestions for positive change.
Constructive Feedback: Offering suggestions and pointing out areas for improvement in a helpful way.
Destructive Feedback: Giving harmful or unconstructive feedback that can damage morale or relationships within the team.
Sandwich Feedback: (aka a sh*t sandwich). A feedback technique that involves starting with a positive comment (the first slice of bread), delivering negative or critical feedback (the filling), and ending with another positive statement (the final slice of bread).
STAR Method (Situation-Task-Action-Result): Providing specific and relevant feedback by describing the situation, task, action taken, and the result.
BOOST Model (Balanced, Objective, Observable, Specific, Timely): Ensures feedback is fair, unbiased, and actionable.
CAS Model (Criticise-Ask-Suggest): Combining constructive criticism with open-ended questions and suggestions for improvement.
Pendleton Model: Emphasising self-reflection and collaborative problem-solving through a four-step process.
The feedback recipient identifies what they think went well
The giver acknowledges the successes mentioned and adds their own observations about what went well
The recipient suggests what they could do differently next time
The giver acknowledges these ideas and adds their own suggestions for improvement.
COIN Model (Context, Observation, Impact, Next Steps): Provides a framework for delivering feedback and specifying follow-up actions.
GROW Model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will): A versatile framework primarily used in coaching that focuses on development.
Candid Feedback (Radical Candor): A concept developed by Kim Scott that emphasises the importance of being both direct and caring when giving feedback. It sits at the sweet spot between being overly aggressive (what Scott calls "obnoxious aggression") and being too nice ("ruinous empathy"). It's about saying what needs to be said, even if it's uncomfortable, but doing so in a way that shows you have the person's best interests at heart. This approach fosters trust and openness within teams, making it easier for members to give and receive honest feedback without fear.
🤩 Kinkajou loves this approach and includes it in our EMPOWER coaching programme.
Scott provides 6 tips for practicing Radical Candor and suggests leaders are:
Humble
Helpful
Immediate
In person
Private for criticism, public for praise
Not about personality
➡️ Interested in learning more about Radical Candor? It's is one of our must-read leadership book recommendations for 2025.
Bias and Feedback
Something that often goes unnoticed but can significantly impact the giving and receiving of feedback is bias - and it comes in a variety of forms. Bias continues to plague performance reviews and feedback processes in workplaces across various industries. We'll dive into race and gender bias in feedback to illustrate the point.
Gender Feedback Bias Statistics
Gender differences in feedback are well-documented.
HBR research shows that:
Women often receive less specific feedback than men, and the feedback they do receive tends to be more focused on communication style rather than business outcomes.
Textio's research into performance reviews found that 👉
Compared to men, women receive 22% more feedback about their personalities than their work.
68% of women surveyed had been described as "collaborative" in their performance reviews, compared to just 31% of men
36% of women surveyed had been described as "helpful" in their performance reviews, compared to just 21% of men
26% of women surveyed had been described as "nice" in their performance reviews, compared to just 12% of men
63% of men surveyed had been described as "ambitious" in their performance reviews, compared to just 17% of women
54% of men surveyed had been described as "confident" in their performance reviews, compared to just 18% of women
It's important for leaders to be aware of these biases because they become internalised.
Men are 2 to 4 times as likely to internalise positive stereotypes about themselves, while women are 7 times as likely to internalise negative stereotypes about themselves
And the stats around negative stereotypes are:
56% of women surveyed had been described as "unlikeable" in their performance reviews, compared to just 16% of men
78% of women surveyed had been described as "emotional" in their performance reviews, compared to just 11% of men
Race and Ethnicity Bias and Feedback
Similarly, racial biases can affect perceptions of competence and influence the type of feedback provided to individuals from diverse backgrounds. For example, studies have shown that Black and Hispanic/Latino employees often receive lower-quality feedback compared to their white counterparts. This can lead to fewer opportunities for growth and advancement.
Textio's studies have shown:
Black employees are most likely to be called "passionate" and least likely to be called "ambitious". It is the opposite for Asian employees.
White employees are most likely to be described as "easy to work with", while their Black coworkers are the least likely.
Black employees receive more than twice as much unactionable feedback as their White and Asian coworkers.
Being aware of these biases is the first step in overcoming them. As leaders, we need to consciously strive to provide fair, consistent, and specific feedback to all team members, regardless of gender, race, or any other factor. Inclusive leadership coaching is a powerful leadership development approach to help your leaders grow.
Having awareness is important as these biases perpetuate a phenomena known as stereotype threat where individuals fear confirming negative stereotypes about their social group. It can create high cognitive load and negatively impact individuals' performance.
How To Deliver Effective Feedback
Delivering effective feedback requires skill and thoughtfulness:
Adopt a Radical Candor approach: Embrace both honesty and empathy when providing feedback.
Focus on behaviour, not personality: Address specific actions rather than making personal judgements about character.
Be specific and actionable: Provide clear examples that illustrate your points so recipients know exactly what they can improve upon.
Balance positive and constructive feedback: While it’s essential to address areas for improvement, recognising achievements boosts morale and motivation.
Use "I" statements: Frame your feedback using "I" statements (e.g. "I noticed that...") to avoid sounding accusatory or confrontational.
Bin the sandwich: Instead of wrapping criticism between two slices of positive comments (the "sandwich"), focus on clarity and directness.
How To Receive Feedback
Receiving feedback effectively hinges on active listening - a skill that involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than merely waiting for your turn to respond.
Here are some strategies:
Stay open-minded: Approach feedback with curiosity rather than defensiveness.
Clarify understanding: If something isn’t clear, ask questions to gain a deeper understanding.
Reflect before responding: Take time to process the information before reacting emotionally.
Express gratitude: Thank the person providing you with feedback; this encourages a culture where open communication is valued.
Follow up: After receiving feedback, check in with the giver later on how you’ve acted upon their suggestions or if you need further clarification.
Leadership Development Coaching and Effective Feedback
A great strategy to support this process is through leadership development coaching - it's a game-changer for leaders looking to enhance their feedback skills. Coaching can help leaders gain valuable insights into their communication style, learn techniques to deliver feedback more effectively and develop active listening skills, enabling them to receive feedback openly and constructively. Sessions provide a safe space to reflect on strengths and areas for improvement, fostering self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
Summing up
As we’ve explored, understanding the purpose of feedback, overcoming common challenges, recognising biases, mastering delivery techniques, and honing active listening skills are all essential steps toward creating an environment where constructive dialogue thrives.
Effective feedback is a vital component of successful leadership that fosters personal growth, enhances team performance, and cultivates a positive organisational culture. By embracing Radical Candor - caring personally while challenging directly - leaders can navigate the complexities of giving and receiving feedback with confidence.
➡️ Would you like support to become more effective in giving and receiving feedback?
Check out our 1:1 leadership coaching, leadership group coaching, and leadership coaching for women or first-time managers services to enhance your leadership development journey.